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February Ruminations & Ronnifications

February 2017 (Greenvale, New York) 

Dear President Trump,

It has come to my attention that your daughter, Ivanka Trump Kushner, who converted to Orthodox Judaism, found that there is a dearth of kosher restaurants in the Washington, D.C. area, where she will be residing for the foreseeable future.

Well, let it be known that Ben's Kosher Delicatessen Restaurant & Caterers would entertain the idea of opening a unit in the District of Columbia to satisfy the kosher needs of Ivanka, Jared and their children. While Donald Jr's wife is of some Jewish descent, Tiffany Trump's boyfriend is Jewish and was raised in the heart of kosher deli land in New York City. And, I would like to think that, being a true New Yorker, you might even indulge in having dinner with your family at a Ben's of Washington, D.C. 

I can see it now. A Ben's with the vestibule being renamed the Congressional Lobby. The left side of the dining room for the Democrats, while the right side of the dining room would be reserved for the Republicans. And, smack in the middle of the dining room, would roam the Independents. Of course, it would have to have some smaller private party rooms (or shall we call them “Caucus Rooms”) with the Black Congressional Caucus and the Charles Schumer Jewish Congressional Caucus (although I thought it could also be called the Al Franken Witty Caucus). Of course, what would it be without the great Women of the Senate and House of Representatives Caucus Room? I'd even have a separate dining room specifically for nine, because I wouldn't want the Supreme Court to be discriminated against! Let's see, I would have the restrooms built with the women on the right (because they always are), men on the left, and another bathroom – unnamed thus far – for our changing mores.

Phew! I am almost done with my imaginings, but I do need some help: Does anyone happen to know a real estate billionaire who could help make it happen?????

See ya at the Deli.